2020 Reflection: The Tumultuous Twenties

Was it just me, or did everyone else also think that 2020 was really going to be their year? December 31st, 2019 — a night that none of us will forget, the end of a decade. Out with the old, in with the new, excitement of a new and prosperous decade was all on our minds. A fresh start, a new chapter, something many of us had been looking forward to.

Like almost every other Albanian kid, I have celebrated almost every New Years Eve with my family, ringing in each year with kisses and love from the people that matter the most. Granted, as we’ve gotten older, the New Years wishes have changed from, “Good luck in school this year!” to “May you find good fate.” aka, I hope you get into a relationship and settle down. I remember that night super vividly, my family, myself and about 30 other family members and friends had gone to a great Italian NYE Banquet in Oakville. We spent the night eating antipasto, being gluttonous with the open bar, and dancing like we were middle aged men. Everything was perfect, and I couldn’t have asked for a better way to spend ringing in the new decade.

This is my first article on here, so despite having this publication be a reflection of my own personal views, thoughts and memories put into words, I will end this with some of the biggest lessons I have learned this year.

2020 started out almost like every other year I could remember. I had bought some fitness gear in an effort to really stop being a couch potato and divert from early onset heart disease as a result of my chip consumption. During the end of 2019 and into 2020, we had all started hearing about this weird “Coronavirus”. At the time, in North America, and in many places around the world, Covid had really just been another meme worthy content creator on Twitter and social media, next to nobody was taking it seriously. It’s so unfortunate looking back at it now, and wondering just how much did the people at the top know? Are us everyday humans not worthy of the truth? It was around this same time in January that the first few tragedies of 2020 began to happen. The Australian Wildfires had already been ripping through most of the country, engulfing it into flames and leading to one of the worst wildfires in modern history, only progressing in a more fatal manner during the beginning of the year. Unfortunately, the first week of January was only getting started, and at the time on January 3rd, Iranian General Qasem Soleimani was killed in a U.S. drone strike in Baghdad, a death that was highly condemned by many Iranians, sparking many threats towards the U.S. Unfortunately, only a few short days after, on January 8th, the Ukrainian Flight PS752 was shot down on accident, killing all 176 passengers and crew.

At the height of the Iranian conflict, Twitter and much of the world genuinely thought the world was about to start WW3, so much for the roaring twenties huh? Writing all of this feels surreal, because January alone seems like a lifetime ago, and I’m only one week into 2020 and have only touched on some of the havoc wreaked. I really wish it got better, but a few short weeks after, Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gigi and 7 others died in a tragic helicopter crash. It was really at this point, that my friends and I truly wondered “WTF?”. My generation, and many other people, grew up watching Kobe become the legend that he was, we grew up throwing things in the garbage, and yelling “Kobe” after every toss. It seemed surreal to lose someone that most of us never knew personally, and regardless of whether we were huge fans or not, his mentality, work ethic and dedication, inspired all of us.

As these tragic events began to unfold, Coronavirus continued to silently spread around the world. During the beginning of January, the CDC had begun to sound the alarms on this mysterious illness, and was urging caution. On January 20th, America confirmed their first case. When I look back at the year, there has been many heroes, one that comes to mind is Dr. Li Wenliang, deemed as one of the whistleblower doctors who had fought to raise awareness on Covid from the early infections in Wuhan. Dr. Wenliang, passed away from Covid on February 7th.

Around the beginning of February, I hopped on my first and last flight of the year, to go to Vancouver. We were running a test market out there for my job, so I went out with my team to assess the markets and see how things were running. I remember my parents being afraid that I was going, but I assured them all was well. The airport and my flight was practically no different than any other experience, by this time, no one was really wearing masks or taking precautions. What kills me, and will always be one of my favourite ironic memories of 2020, is that on the flight there was a baby traveling with his father sitting behind me. My seatmates and myself became short term best friends during the flight — they were both middle aged women, we all shared our life stories knowing that we would never see each other again, but appreciating the moment of connection. During the flight the little chunker behind us was fussing, so at one point when we were stretching our legs, we asked the baby’s father “Can we hold him?”. It was during this flight, mid (to be announced) pandemic, myself and 2 other strangers, completely cuddled and held a complete strangers baby as if he had been our own. I took my turn holding the little guy and walked up the aisle to find my coworkers horrified that I had abducted someone’s child on the flight. We all laugh looking back now.

The rest of February was a blur, I came back and got back into my routine, reflecting on how mind-bending Parasite had been, and how applicable it was today in real life. My fitness journey hadn’t faired so well, similar to the last 10 years’ New Years Resolutions, however I had begun opting in for some yoga classes which were great. Work was busier than ever, priorities and team structures changing, and I found myself being tasked with more and more responsibilities. Something that is great when you’re young and have the time to really focus on your career. On February 19th, hip hop fans everywhere would lose a very talented emerging artist, Pop Smoke — another loss that struck a cord with many. At the end of February, I went to one of my favourite artists, 070 Shake’s concert. Although this whole Covid thing was spreading, things really hadn’t gotten too crazy yet. Over the coming weeks in March I had a lot to look forward to as well, 3 of my close friends would be having their birthdays — parties were to be planned, outfits were meant to be worn. One of my best friends Katherine who has hailed March 22nd, 2020 as a National Holiday, had already been planning her birthday and outfit 6 months ahead of time. However the first two weeks of March were essentially an accumulation of anxiety and confusion on what Covid was. We saw cases surge globally, people had begun to die, and unknown symptoms were arising.

On March 11th, 2020, the WHO officially declared Coronavirus a Global Pandemic. That same day, I would go to my final concert with my brother, Arber and our two childhood best friends, Anisa and Seldi. Honestly, this was one of the most uneasy experiences I’ve ever had in my life, and to put it into context, here is some of the following I’ve also done: 1) Gone through a Favela in Rio 2) Walked by the Queen & Bathurst intersection past midnight 3) Driven on rural roads on the mountainside in Albania. Mid-concert, my phone began to blow up, one after the other “NBA season cancelled”, “NHL season cancelled”, “Tom Hanks test positive for Coronavirus” — really NYT? It was at this moment, reading my phone alerts, that I stopped paying attention to what the artist was rapping, and realized that the world was about to change forever, and here I was, in a crowd with hundreds of people. I’ve never had such a fight or flight moment, when I heard someone cough near me at that concert.

I got home from the concert and showered in scorching water, then slipped into bed in my cozy condo, downtown Toronto. I lived with my best friend Arabela, both of us blessed to secure great jobs out of our undergrad at McMaster, and move in with each other. We lived on the 32nd floor, with beautiful skyline views, and a walking distance away from just about everything. I crawled into bed that night frantically texting my friends being like “Guys, WTF is going on? Are we going to die?” — dramatic, I know, it’s the Leo in me. Over the next two days at work, things quickly shifted and offices globally began to transition to working from home, our office being no exception. However, the initial work from home mandate for us had been for 2 weeks, and then we would go from there. I remember looking at my boss at the time and saying, “Yo, Jason, guess who is about to do nothing these next two weeks working from home?”. We all laughed, and continued to mildly freak out, our last day in the office together — at the time, the sad thing is, we really thought it would be two weeks. It is now nearing a year since I have seen the majority of my coworkers, although I’m lucky to still go into my office once in a while as my role requires me to. I miss nothing more than sneaking down for beers at La Piazza in the PATH (one of the many restaurants that has been shut down since), for some quick beers with Andy and Jesse, two of my close work buds. I miss nothing more than drinking morning tea with my “lovely ladies”, who also double as my work and real life best friends — Katherine, Kelsey and Caitlin. I miss nothing more than the office manager, Keith, walking by us every morning saying “Hello girls, what are you gossiping about this morning?” and we all giggle back and smile at him. It’s in these moments, that the everyday routines we take for granted, end up being one of the things we miss the most. A testament to enjoying the little things in life.

On March 13th, our “last” official day in the office, we wrapped up and began packing our stuff. Katherine was having a mild breakdown as she realized that we probably shouldn’t be having her joint birthday party we had planned the next day. To cheer each other up, we decided to go to Eataly after work, and scarf down cannoli’s and pizza. We sat by the ledge frustrated, clueless, unsure of what was to come. We walked back to the car, and the streets had begun to look empty, and I looked at Kath and said “Do you think they’re going to shut everything down?”, she looked back at me and said “Ina, they can’t just shut everything down.”. On March 24th, they shut everything down. Prime Minister Trudeau had ordered the shutdown of all non-essential businesses, closed borders and urged Canadians to get back home.

Once our office initially shut down, for the last two weeks of March, I quarantined at my condo alone. I’ll never forget my grocery trip at the nearby Sobey’s — everything was completely cleared out, people were panicking. I had never been more scared, I truly thought the end was coming. The next two weeks I worked from home, getting used to our favourite pandemic slang, “new normal” and “unprecedented times”. My family eventually picked me up, and brought me back to Brantford, where I would begin to work from my family home until things got better. What Arabela and I didn’t know, was that the next time we would return to our condo a couple of months later, it was to begin packing our stuff up.

The end of March, April and May, are quite frankly one big blur consisting of Tiger King, Casa de Papel, baking, and losing our minds. What about the fact that Kim Jong Un practically faked his death? I bet you forgot about that. The height of my excitement during this time included driving around Brantford everyday for an hour with my brother and picking out our favourite homes in the city. I also much enjoyed scouring the International aisle at FreshCo — the little things, remember? During these couple of months my life changed in many ways. It was during this time Arabela and I had decided we would move out of our condo, there was no reason to be there anymore. Yes, check your privilege Blerina— I am so so lucky that I was on a month to month lease by that time, and was able to move back home without really losing more than 1–2 months in rent. I had never moved out before, having commuted during University. To anyone who relates, being a 1st gen immigrant daughter comes with its trials and tribulations. When you end up moving out, you have this sort of unmatched freedom and independence. I’d be lying if I wasn’t scared to move back home fulltime.

While my biggest worry was that I’d be losing some freedom and have my mom discover just how bad my online shopping was, millions in North America lost their jobs, had fears of eviction, if not got evicted. Thousands of people would lose their businesses, struggle financially, and even worse, get sick. It was during these awakening moments where I realized just how lucky I was, it’s hard sometimes not to feel guilty of course. It’s so unfair how many people were left with the short end of the stick, especially in the U.S., which had essentially offered little to no help to its citizens, while Trump and the RNC completely continued to downplay Covid, despite warnings from the CDC. I’ll never forget when we all shut down and closed borders, and Trump said that America would be back to normal by Easter. How did that one work out? One of the things that has never failed to amaze me (not in a good way either), this year, is just how awful politicians are, especially American ones, albeit maybe it’s because I’m exposed to them more. So many Senators and people in power, at the time where they owed American citizens the truth and protection, decided to dump millions in stock, instead of warn Americans of what was coming. Trump and the RNC’s failed leadership during this pandemic (as well as many others — our buddy Boris in the UK, and our pal Bolsonaro in Brazil) is something that will surely be used as a case study for generations to come.

While Covid continued to sweep through America, a different type of unrest would soon begin, and we would see one of the biggest BLM movements unfold. Growing up the last few years, there has undeniably been police brutality towards black people in America. Countless lives have been taken aimlessly — no, not because anyone was armed or threatened, but because of the colour of their skin. Let that sink in, hurts to hear in 2020 right? Now imagine how black people feel, living it, experiencing it. It is something none of us (non-black people), will ever be able to relate to nor justify. We can empathize, but more than being empathetic, we need to raise awareness and be allies, we need to want to learn, we need to ask questions, be inclusive and fight against racism. You know, really stick up for one another, after all we only have each other don’t we? We grew up seeing Tamir Rice, Philando Castle, Freddie Gray, Eric Garner, Breonna Taylor — some names that come to mind just like that, all killed aimlessly by the police. On May 25th, George Floyd would be the next victim of police brutality, his life taken as he could barely say “I can’t breathe”. George was pulled aside for “allegedly counterfeiting $20” — was his life not worth more? Shortly after his death, protests and soon to be riots erupted all across America. Then protests began all across the world. The never ending inflow of news during the BLM movement at this time was absolutely insane to see. We were literally living through changing times, once again in 2020. I know there is many conflicting ideologies on the theories of riots etc., but I must ask — in the history of the world, has any change and liberation come from asking politely? No, I’m not condoning violence, but if Target doesn’t even care about their damage incurred, why should you?

The protests and BLM movement led into the summer, continuing to make news all around the world. As summer was approaching, restrictions began to ease and by June we were able to open up our bubbles. I spent the month of June back at my condo with Arabela, we began to pack up as we would be moving out at the end of the month. It was nice during this time to see my friends outside, to catch up for the first time in months and talk about how crazy everything has been. Leaving the condo was so bittersweet, it had been our first home away from home together, with so many fun memories made. Our first adventure in the “real world”, spending more money than we should have eating out, and decorating our condo so much during Christmas time, that we got a complaint and had to take some decorations down.

One of the things I’m most fortunate about this year is the time I’ve been able to spend with my family. Time that I otherwise would have never gotten to this capacity. As the saying goes, you don’t get to choose the hand you’re dealt with, but you do get to choose how to play it. The last four years my mom has been winning her fight against cancer. I choose to say winning, because to me, she really is. About 2.5 years ago, at this time actually, she was once again diagnosed. Her cancer had metastasized into her lung, and she was given a Stage 4 Triple-Negative Breast Cancer diagnosis. Of course at this time our world came crashing down, but here we are, happier and stronger than ever. My mom is fortunate enough to be on an incredible clinical trial using immunotherapy at the Princess Margaret Cancer Center. Her cancer to us is now simply something we live with, every 3 weeks we go get her treatment and we call it a day. She’s doing amazing and that’s all that matters, but as such she’s been home alone for the last four years. 2020 has been able to fill our house with joy for her, by having my brother and I both working from home. Every morning my mom absolutely disrespects the laws of working from home. She bursts into my room while I’m on calls to drop off food (not so bad right?), vacuums as she pleases, and my personal favourite — calls family members back home, but hasn’t yet realized she doesn’t need to yell on the phone. It’s been this year that we’ve really been able to do things as a family even more, and to really just enjoy each others company. Special moments we otherwise would have never shared.

One of the most difficult personal moments this year was at the end of July, my Grandpa, who had been one of my favourite humans in the world, passed away at the age of 84 in our home in Luaras, Albania. Growing up far away from family is something that has always been difficult, but this loss was extremely tough for my mom and us. We had no way to go be with my Grandma and other family members, we simply had to support from afar. This has been the story for millions around the world, Covid has not only changed our day to day lives, but it has completely closed off the ability to be there for one another physically. My deepest sympathies go out to anyone who has lost a loved one this year, it has really been an unfair year.

While the summer was flying by, at many points we felt a sense of normality — restaurants opened back up, larger gatherings were able to occur, it almost seemed like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Although things with Covid seemed to be “flattening” to an extent, there was no shortage of world events that continued to happen. In the beginning of July, Ghislaine Maxwell (Jeffrey Epstein’s acclaimed lady) was taken into custody, and so called “murder hornets” began to arrive in the U.S. I mean, at this point, 2020 was beginning to look like some twisted plot from a Simpson’s episode. Right as August kicked in, an explosion was set off in Beirut, at the hands of negligence. Thousands of people were injured, lost homes, and almost 200 people died. There had been some ammonium nitrate that detonated on the port, the videos of the explosion sent shockwaves across the world. Throughout the summer, the election was also looming upon us, Joe Biden had been chosen as the DNC runner, Trump for the RNC, and a first — Kamala Harris was chosen to be Joe Biden’s VP Candidate. She would be the first woman, black and Asian to be on a Presidential candidates ticket.

At the same time, more wildfires continued to sweep the West Coast, burning millions of acres and impacting thousands of peoples lives. In July we also lost John Lewis, he had been a civil rights activist and leader, fighting for black rights and was known as one of the “Big Six”, who organized the “March on Washington for Jobs and Freedoms” in 1963, alongside MLK. For anyone who loves movies, and appreciates how beautiful the art of acting is, Chadwick Boseman’s death devastated fans all around the world. This one hit close to home, in particular for myself, Chadwick had hidden his cancer diagnosis and completed entire films, on August 28th he passed away. I remember at this point in 2020, it felt like I had just succumbed completely to news intake. Staying aware and being in touch with global affairs and ongoing events was something I had always done, but this year I found myself being deeply impacted by every event. The information overdrive that we were all consuming was neither healthy, nor was it normal. I often wonder the long term impacts on mental health that we will pay, in order to be “aware”.

Looking back it’s been hard to find moments of happiness and gratefulness, but one key one I remember was the support my friends, family and strangers gave to me in order to help me with my charity. I started Backpacks for Brainiacs in 2018, the main goal is to break some financial barriers for children in need, and hopefully empower them. At the end of every summer, I put together a fundraiser, and with the help and kindness of so many people, am able to put together some pretty rad backpacks for kids in need. This year was a special milestone for me as I finally hit triple digits, and donated 100 backpacks! One thing my parents taught me was to never forget where you came from, and as I’ve gotten older and have grown into situations of privilege, I truly believe we need to do our best to give back when we can. I’m forever grateful for everyone who has and continues to support, and I look forward to what we have in store for 2021!

Another fun memory in September was surprising my childhood best friend Anisa with Arabela. We took her out for a fancy date to Casa Loma in Toronto, who needs men right? And boy oh boy, dating during a pandemic — I’d love to do a poll to see how many pen pals people have developed during this year. As September was flying by, another big loss for the year happened. This time it was Ruth Bader Ginsburg, she had been a Supreme Court Justice, known for her efforts in the fight for gender equality. Her death would have large implications in the political and judicial landscape as well, as it opened up a spot on the Supreme Court. Trump, set in his “unprecedented” ways, would do anything to fill her spot up immediately with a candidate, and his nominee was Amy Coney Barrett. The lineup for the Supreme Court would now be one of the most right wing that we have seen in decades, many feared the implications of what was to come.

However, the politics game was just getting started. The presidential debates would begin at the end of September. Now reality tv is definitely one of my guilty pleasures, and let me tell you, the first debate was nothing short of a Real Housewives Reunion Special. Why did no one call Andy Cohen to mediate? To say it was presidential, would be insulting the past president’s, it seemed like something out of an SNL skit, and the entire world had truly thought that America had turned into some sick joke. As if irony hadn’t come swinging hard enough this year, a few short days after the debate, Trump tested positive for Covid on October 2nd. During the debate he had mocked Biden for wearing a mask, and continued to downplay the pandemic.

Towards mid-September and into October, the second wave that the experts had warned us about, had begun. Cases were back on the rise, surging across the world reaching new daily records. Would we shut down again? What would happen to all the businesses that had taken so many steps to ensure they complied with new Covid regulations? The thought of having to go back into a lockdown or have restrictions again was was exhausting. Here I was, thinking I was going to move back to the city by September with Arabela, and it had really hit me that the end was far from over. We had one final shebang the first weekend of October when we celebrated Anisa’s birthday, had some drinks at a patio, realizing it would probably be the last time we would for a while. Over the next month, U.S. election craziness would take over the world, the same way that Covid had begun to once again.

Every year we make fresh Tarhana, a fermented grain that is used in soups, and we make Raki, essentially holy water to Eastern Europeans. As celebration of the Raki being finalized, we found that the weather was beautiful at the end of October and took advantage of one weekend. At this point we were allowed to hang out in our backyards still, and Anisa and Arabela’s families both came over for lunch and to enjoy the Raki. The parents spent the day sharing stories about their lives, immigration, and toasting to us kids, ultimately who all the sacrifices had been made for. I ended the day feeling like the luckiest girl in the world to be blessed with such a great family and the best friends. There is no greater love than this.

Before we knew it, election week had sprung upon us. Honestly, I had never been so consumed by something in my life. I’m not even American! I believe reflecting on the last four years of the Trump Presidency left many people feeling more passionately about politics, and wanting to have their voice heard, wanting to be seen. The election was undoubtedly closer than expected — of course this also depends on your personal political views, as well as which news network is your preference. It was a crazy week, and on November 7th, Joe Biden officially won the election. For the first time, true American democracy came into question as Trump made claims of voter fraud, and essentially refused to back down, a first in what seemed to be a historical American election. It was the largest voter turnout ever. This day, Katherine, Anisa and myself met up for a trail walk outside, we toasted and danced to the news of the election, it felt like a happy moment in 2020.

At the end of November, I was able to getaway for a couple of days to Mont Tremblant for a cottage getaway with Katherine, Caitlin and Kelsey. We had taken the appropriate measures before going, as well as upon arrival. Making the choice to go was definitely a bit taboo, but we had been as safe as possible, and enjoyed our mini — getaway, the first time the four of us had reunited in 8 months. We did not stop talking the entire time, we played games, we cried, we laughed. For a couple of days, it really felt like there was no wrong in the world. When I came back, it was full speed ahead to finish off year end projects, and get everything in a good place before the holidays arrived.

Alas, we have arrived to the final month of 2020, today is actually the final day. This month has been one of the hardest. The holiday season being unlike any other — lonely, gray and lacking spirit. In the difficult moments I’ve tried to stay positive, with news of the vaccine rollout emerging, and trying to enjoy a quiet holiday at home with my family. But I’d be lying if at the end of the day, I wasn’t angry and sad that the world is what it is. Reflecting on the year, one of the most challenging things to do, has been to stay mentally strong. Covid has taken extensive tolls on mental health of humans, leaving people alone and without human contact, scared of the outside world and scared for what tomorrow will bring. In these moments of weakness, where I’ve found myself slipping as well, I look back and think about what my brother told me one day driving home from school together years ago. It was while my mom was doing chemotherapy, and emotions had caught up to me, it isn’t always easy trying to be positive. He told me, “Ina, we have to live life how it’s given to us, not how we plan for it”. There has never been a more prevalent year that I should live my life through that quote. We wake up everyday, and if we’re lucky, we can consciously make an effort to try to have a good day, and to try to be positive. You know what though, it’s also okay to be sad, any feeling is valid.

If you’ve made it thus far in this monologue of personal reflections meets quick CNN recap of the year, thank you for listening. I was inspired by my dad to try to write out my memories and thoughts, and I figured, no better time to start than the present. I said at the start that I would end this with the biggest lessons I’ve learned this year, so here they are:

1. Self love and believing in yourself — I know this is easier said than done, but this is one of the greatest lessons I’ve taken away from this year. Respect and love for who you are, your worth and what you have to offer is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself. Don’t ever let anyone take it away. Believe in yourself, no dream is too big, in the year of “manifesting”, I promise you, you can make it happen if you work hard enough
2. Prioritize the right people in life — there is so many people that I didn’t mention in this, people I talk to every day, other people I have been fortunate in enough to see, facetime or exchange messages with. This year has allowed me to get closer in so many ways to many different people, it’s allowed me to meet people I never thought I would, for reasons that will all make sense one day. Every interaction really is a blessing.
3. Tell it how it is — I find our generation especially is sometimes scared to really give the truth, or to have the truth be heard. There is nothing wrong with tough love, if the people who claim to love you the most can’t tell you how it is, who will? You have to be willing to give, and be willing to get.
4. Dig deeper — whether it be in relationships, friendships, whatever it is, dig deeper. Ask the tough questions and talk about the uncomfortable things in life. You’d be surprised the connections that spawn from these types of interactions.
5. Read more & eat healthier — I haven’t necessarily perfected this one, but there was a brief moment in time this summer where I really got the workout grind going. I had fooled people at the Chedoke stairs so well with my façade of a pushup that someone once asked me if I was an athlete. I think I went home and ate a bag of chips that night.
6. Don’t believe everything you see — social media isn’t all that it’s shown to be, and I promise you, people post mostly what they want to post. I wish people would post about the crappy things once in a while, just a reminder that we’re all human and go through things. No one is perfect, nor lives a perfect life. Don’t let it get to you.
7. Forever isn’t always realistic — good things, bad things, a lot of it will come to an end. Take it day by day and find the courage to reflect on the lessons learned from every situation you find yourself in
8. Don’t be afraid to take risks — did I turn into a sketchy biotech stock investor? Maybe. Have the rewards outweighed the risks? Not quite yet, but the lessons I’ve learned during the wildly chaotic stock market this year are much more beneficial. Risk aversity is also important, but when a good opportunity comes at your footsteps, instead of asking “what if” in a negative way, try asking it in a positive way. “What if this will be one of the greatest things to happen to me?”. Perception is everything in life, glass half full — remember?
9. Life is a marathon not a race — one thing this year I struggled with was comparing myself to others, or being upset that I somehow am not quite a millionaire yet. Some of the most humbling moments and most beneficial ones in life, come from failure. So don’t be afraid to mess up, and don’t be in such a rush to grow up. Success isn’t linear, nor can we put timelines on it. Also, I’m going to say it — don’t be upset if you’re not engaged or haven’t found the one yet. Timing is everything, you’ll never know who you will meet, sometimes it happens when you least expect it.
10. Be kind — do I wear rose coloured glasses? Yes, am I maybe naively optimistic? Also, yes. Would I change it? No. I think there is no greater gift you can give to humanity than the choice to be kind. It’s not always easy, but you never know the battles people are facing, so choose kindness whenever you can. Smile at strangers, say hi, you never know how it will change someone's life.

I could write more, but that’s all I really have for now. I’ve never been concise with my thoughts or feelings, as such, here is a painstakingly long essay. There is a long list of names, other memories and experiences that haven’t been mentioned. I simply can’t put you through every minute of this year for me, but as many low moments as there have been, there have been even more beautiful moments, ones with sparks of happiness and excitement. Thank you to everyone who has been there for me this year, to all of the new amazing people in my life, to those I lost who will never be forgotten, and to those who I will meet one day.

I wish you and all of your loved ones all of the happiness, good health and love in the world in 2021! I will end this with my one of my favourite all time quotes by author Paulo Coelho, take this with you into 2021 and into all the years to come:

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” — The Alchemist

Lots of love,

Blerina

A very empty downtown Toronto.